The Swaziland Experience

Sanibonani–

I hope that this email finds you well.

I have slightly less than two more months in Africa. I find myself embracing my remaining time so dearly. I love my life here, and I love so many people here. Swaziland has been very, very good to me.

Life has been eventful for me. In fact, I already have a good portion of my next update written, so you’ll see it soon.

This update covers many areas: tragedy, healings, and random thoughts. Please read on.

I send all my love from Swaziland.
–Tim
+++++++++++ For the curious: +++++++++++

1. A Swazi Death
2. A Swazi Funeral
3. Relationships
4. Fansile Update
5. World Vision Award
6. I Wish I Were an Artist
7. Upcoming Good-Byes
8. Addition to Pasture Valley
9. Prayer Requests

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1. A Swazi Death
I have written quite a few times about John. John and I often visit homesteads together. He is an extremely poor Swazi, but he is dedicated to community service.
On March 31st, I got a call from one of John’s good friends who I also know quite well, Nonhlanhla. She told me that John’s daughter, Khutiwe, had died earlier in the day. She said that Khutiwe was only sick for a short time but suddenly passed away. Later in the evening, I talked with John. He asked me to come the next morning to pray for him and his wife. This was not an easy prayer, but I was appreciative that he asked me to come.
This death was particularly difficult for me for two reasons. First, she was three days from reaching the age of 26, which is my age. This makes death at a young age a lot more personal. Second, I had never met Khutiwe, but I had one memory of her. About two weeks before her death, I was at John’s homestead and saw her lying very sick on a rug. I asked John and his wife what the problem was, and they replied that she was sick to her stomach. I should have given it more thought, but I didn’t. As I think back to the day of seeing Khutiwe sick, I sure wish that I had at least asked a few more questions or offered to help in some way.
I don’t know for sure what Khutiwe died of. This is one frustrating aspect of Swazi life. When someone dies, there is seldom a definite reason given. (Arnau once showed me his friend’s death certificate that said he had died of swollen feet.) Of course, I assume that Khutiwe’s death is AIDS-related, but I don’t know for sure. John told me that he was very confused by the death and that it looked like she had been poisoned. I have mentioned before how often people blame AIDS-related deaths on a poison. I was especially surprised that John did the same thing, as he has received a large amount of HIV/AIDS training.
Please read on for the funeral…
2. A Swazi Funeral
Swazi funerals begin late in the evening and last through the night until the next morning. Typically, the funeral and burial take place on the family’s homestead. They hold a night vigil and sing all night long. During this time they dig the hole, view the body, and eat a meal or two. They don’t sleep.
I did not come the night before but instead showed up at the funeral around 6:15 in the morning. John had asked me to speak for a short time at the funeral, and immediately I was brought to the front to talk in front of the 150 people in attendance. Knowing how to act and what to say at a funeral in your own culture is hard enough, but I was the only non-Swazi at this funeral. I spoke gently (through an interpreter) from Romans 8 that nothing can remove us from the love of Jesus. I was immediately followed by a pastor who delivered perhaps the most hellfire and brimstone sermon that I’ve seen yet in Swaziland, speaking from Revelations 12:12. The contrast between my talk and the following talk was oddly dramatic. The Swazis, and especially the Zion church, seem to love hellfire and brimstone, which I imagined that they learned from television and radio evangelists. I hope that I didn’t let them down too much. I didn’t even yell when I talked.
Around 7:00 in the morning, they lowered the casket into the grave and then filled the hole. People searched for nearby rocks with which to cover the grave. A meal was served, and then the people went home.
I felt honored to be asked to attend and speak at the funeral. I guess the only awkward part was at the end of the funeral when a drunk 58-year-old woman who I had never met before started telling me very loudly that she loves me and wants to marry me.
3. Relationships
I remember when I came, and I knew that so much of what I would be doing — should be doing — here is building relationships with the Swazis. I was intimidated. I thought to myself, I don’t know how to build relationships with Swazis. All of a sudden, five months have passed, and I have all these people who mean so much to me. Gogo and the orphans on the farm certainly take the prize in this category. It won’t be easy to say goodbye to Thobile, either. Or, there’s John, my good friend with whom I visit homesteads and whose daughter’s funeral I attended. Other than Gogo and the orphans, maybe Johane is most special to me — showing up at his house every week or so to look after his wound has been such a blessing. I realized the other day that even if his wound doesn’t heal, that we would still both be so happy that we tried, as it gave us such wonderful times together. I feel like I’m on my way to visit my Swazi grandpa when I take that kombi ride on the rough dirt roads to see Johane. Then there’s Lwazi, who told me that he missed me while I was away most of March with visitors. When we met recently, he kept asking about when I’m leaving, and he looked so sad. The Lavumisa church has quickly become incredibly special to me, and I was quite impacted when they called me pastor recently even though they know full well that I’m an electrical engineer. There are others: Fansile of course, Dumisani and his coworkers at the petrol station, Cebile and Theminkhosi from Richfield Butchery, several of the Bengalis who run stores in town, Nellie at the Internet cafe, the orphans who eat at church, Shorty Khumalo, many of the home-based care workers, and several of the high school boys: Lihle, Comfort, and Diamond. When I walk around town, people constantly yet at me, “Sipho!” or “Khumalo!” or an occasional “Tim!” It feels like Cheers, where everybody knows my name. I can’t believe all this in five months.
4. Fansile Update
On April 16th, I went with John to see Fansile (recall from updates 5-7) for the first time since late January. When she saw us walk onto the homestead, she was very happy. I was excited about this, knowing that it meant good news.
She immediately went to get her charts, showing us that she has taken her ARV’s perfectly since January. She seemed so much healthier than the last time that I saw her. Her skin is much, much better (although not perfect). She is walking well. She has regained her appetite, and her medical charts show that she has started to regain weight. She is up to 35 kg (77 lbs) from her low of 30 kg (66 lbs). But the most special thing was to see her smile! She was so happy, and her family was so appreciative.
I love how God has revealed his glory to Fansile’s family through this situation. I try not to think about what Fansile’s life would look like right now if she hadn’t started ARV’s. She was in extremely bad condition, but now she has improved wonderfully. She and her family attribute it all to God.
5. World Vision Award
This year, Arnau is again applying for the World Vision Courageous Leadership Award. You might remember from update #3 that the ministry received honorable mention last year, and this year we are hoping to finish in the top three. This would be a special honor and would provide a significant financial award for the ministry.
6. I Wish I Were an Artist
I’m not an artist. My sister got those genes.
The other night, I laid awake in bed for hours. I was thinking about how I never want to forget so many of the mental pictures in my head. I have taken many photographs, but I do not have photos of the people who I have visited who have been near death with AIDS (and many have since passed away). I never want to forget the visual pictures in my mind for each of these visits — where I sat in the room, where the bed was, the sick person’s face, what we talked about, who was with me, what the homestead looked like, how I touched the person when I prayed for him/her, or anything else. I don’t want to forget anything. I’m bothered when I forget any of these details from the homesteads of the extremely sick people who I’ve visited. If I were an artist, I would draw a picture of the flashbulb memories in my mind, and then I know that I would never forget. I wish I were an artist.
7. Upcoming Good-Byes
I know they’re coming, but I’m trying not to think about them quite yet. So, I’ll try not to write about them, either.
8. Addition to Pasture Valley
The police came about a week ago with news of a 16-month-old boy who had been abandoned. The police asked the McCubbins if they would accept the boy in the orphanage. Wisely, the McCubbins said that they would leave the decision primarily in Gogo’s hands. Gogo has such an amazing heart. I was blessed to sit and listen to her as she thought through the decision whether to take in an eleventh child. In the end, she explained to the McCubbins something like this: “God has a crown waiting for each of us in heaven. I think that if we turn this boy away, God is going to take off our crowns.” I love Gogo.
His name is Phiwayinkhosi, which means sent from God. They don’t know his surname (in fact, the police might have just given him the name Phiwayinkhosi). I’m pushing for the surname of Khumalo, like my Swazi name. He came severely malnourished, with the starvation potbelly that I had never before seen in person or touched (it’s very hard). A couple of the other children were a bit skeptical before he arrived, but not any more! He is poured over with love and attention. It’s such a beautiful sight.
9. Prayer Requests
- Application for the Courageous Leadership Award
- For Arnau in his annual trip to work with a ministry in Russia
- Praise: Johane’s leg is continuing to heal well (more in next update) … please keep praying!
- Praise: Lavumisa church is going well (more in next update) … please keep praying!
- Praise: Fansile’s health improving … please keep praying!
- Praise: Thobile found out her baby is HIV-
- That God would prepare me and the people here for good-byes
- That God would prepare me for my return to my other life
- That Phiwayinkhosi will come to full health quickly and grow into a man of Jesus